Friday, November 26, 2010

Fourteen Smurfberries Short

Life in a Burrito Wrap
Inspiration is a hard thing to come by these days. Especially when you no longer have the time to sink into games because you spend all of those hours doing “adult” things. Its not even the fun adult things I get to do like drinking and driving or slapping hookers around, its things like working and slapping my wife around. (JOKING!) As many of you know I recently had a baby and believe it or not that has actually allowed me to play more games than I thought. The bright and shiny blood splats amuse him and keep him quiet while I am able to play under the guise of “holding” him. We also seem to share our taste in video games, namely Shatter for the PSN which fucking kicks ass and you should buy it. Regardless of what my wife says I WILL make my son a gamer and he will rock Sox.

Playstation A+
So I spoke of Shatter just two lines ago and said that you should buy it, while this is true you should actually go about it the ass backwards way. What you need to do is buy PSPlus and THEN download shatter for “free” along with all the other cool shit that has been coming down the pipe. If you read any of my early posts I really complained about the service, even though I am a die hard PS fan boy I felt this service was lackluster at best. But in the past few weeks Sony has blown my mind with the downloads they have given me. AC: Brotherhood Beta, Oddworld 1 & 2, Burn Zombie Burn, Age of Zombies, Shatter, Zen Pinball, Critter Crunch, and all sorts of other “free” things that I would have never spent money on but am glad to have. I have been financially in the black since the third month but just recently I have become fun-nancially in the black. If you were on the fence about getting PSPlus then fence straddle no more, some guy on the Internet said buy it and you shall go forth and do as he says.

Water Muddy World
So one of the bloody games that the son and I have been playing is Bioshock 2 and its giving me a headache. First off, how the fuck did the graphics get WORSE than the first game? I have a feeling this was another one of those “quick cash” ports and no one took the time to keep it from looking like ass on the PS3. I would like to give a piece of advice to game developers, if you want your game to sell well on the PS3 then please take the time and make it look better than a retard six year old programmed it. Other than that I really enjoy this game in fact I feel like the game play itself is far above it predecessor. Rescuing the Little Sisters requires a lot more than killing a Big Daddy and the upgrades to your weapons have more of an impact this time. I have gotten so lost in this world and try to do so on purpose because it is so full of little things here and there that can be missed. I have gotten so bad about exploration I will intentionally go the opposite direction it wants me to go until I can go no further. It seems like every part of this game has been expanded upon in positive ways and while I am not quite sure how Lamb will play out as an antagonist I am sure of one thing, it will be Bio-Shocking.

Greedy Smufs is a Baker?
The last game that I wanted to talk about was quite a surprise to me. The Smurfs on the iPhone has gotten me severely hooked into it cute blue maw. I am actually playing it as I type and even though I can not do anything at he moment I am enjoying watching the little Smurfs moonwalk and water plants for hours on end. This game has really scratched my RTS and cute itch that I have been having ever since getting this device. I only have one real complaint and that is a complaint that I have for all games like this. Stop charging me for shit I need to play the game. All I want to do is earn gold and grow crops so I can buy the items with THAT money, do not charge me real life cash for your “space bucks” or in this case Smurf berries. What really boggles my mind is that there is an option to buy one thousand Smurf berries for Sixty dollars. Sixty blood, sweat, and tears dollars! To be clear this is a FREE game on the App Store but I can still spend Sixty fucking dollars on it and the place you buy them from is not password protected, so do not click on the wrong button or else you could overdraw on your bank account and end up getting killed by your loan sharks! I can see it now “Man sues Smurf game for getting his colon savagely removed!” Cut this Smurf out you Smurfing bundles of Smurfalicious Smurf!

Musical "Sensations"
OK so Shatter has some kick ass music, give it a listen!

Don't You Wish Your Pod Was Cast Like Me?
Last thing on the list, even though it should be the first is the Podcast. As you probably know a few of us made a podcast about blogging and all the things that entails. It is run by Frosty, Rats, and myself and I would like to think we do a bang up job with everything except consistency. While this is partly true it is also one hundred percent lies spread by the CIA. We know that you the listener deserve an amazing podcast so if we do a recording where it is not ten thousand tons of excellence then we are not going to bother putting it up for you to hear. We want to give you an awesome podcast with lots of in site and bullshitting but thats not all we are working on. Very soon we will have a website dedicated to the Blogwave community with forums and all that crazy shit so that you can talk about blogging with your fellow Internet circle jerk community. Anyway we are doing our best and will have a new episode for you soon with all sorts of cool shit. We are still seeking guests and BlogHighlight submissions so send an e-mail to and we will put you on “The List.” For everything else just leave a comments and I will attempt to get back to you someday.



  1. Hilarious-Bioshock one sucked in the first place. But the graphics got worse than the first in the sequel? Same developers? What kinda shit is that?

  2. Get your son playing the Oddworld games, for sure. Those games were amazing!

  3. Father-son gaming, the joys of the new world :)

  4. I hate smurfs even more, thank you! I don't care that it is free!
    I'll Gargamel all over your pod!

  5. You bring a really cool perspective to the gaming industry. I hope to read some more posts by you soon!